The Deposit of Faith

It is very natural at this moment in time to experience something called SAD—seasonal affective disorder. It is a well-documented phenomenon that happens in the wintertime, when a sizable number of people feel their moods shift dramatically. It can be something like a temporary depression, or a feeling of ennui, frustration, or indifference.

It comes during the holiday season, when we are supposed to be most cheerful, joyful, and celebratory. People often feel an inner sense of cognitive dissonance because what they are feeling is not aligned with what they see in society or in their community. Understandably, this can happen even in the Church. This is a joyful and festive time in the Church. We come and say that we should be grateful, and we celebrate the gift of the Nativity and Theophany of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. For people who feel this way, it can be even more overwhelming: “I want to be part of this happy atmosphere, but I feel disconnected because of the way I feel inside.”

First of all, it is important to acknowledge that people sometimes feel that way. There are biological reasons for it: fewer hours of daylight, the change in temperature, and other factors. But it is not just that.

As we approach New Year’s, we reach a point when we begin to look back upon the year that has passed. We assess whether we used the time we were given effectively, productively, or simply in a good way. From the perspective of the Church, “good” would mean: Did we live a God-pleasing life during this past year? Did we devote ourselves to Christ? Did we grow closer to him? Did we move farther away from sin? Did we bring greater virtue into our lives during this span of time?

Doing any of these things is a very difficult task. Sometimes it is hard even to feel the difference when a difference is actually being made.

Of course, there are many other ways in which we evaluate how we spent the past year. Were we successful in business, school, or relationships? Did we see the positive changes we wanted to see? Did the goals we established for ourselves come to pass?

We are often, if not naive, at least optimistic about the things we can accomplish in the span of a year. We can do so much in a year. So much can happen in one day—what could happen in 365 of them? Yet when we reach the other side of those 365 days, we can easily feel disappointed that we did not make the progress or achieve the success we wanted. There may have been setbacks and disappointments along the way—in our personal, communal, national, and international lives, and in our lives as Armenians and as Christians.

This can happen in the spiritual field as well. We set goals of virtue for ourselves but find ourselves sliding back into sin. Coupled with seasonal affective disorder and all the other issues that may be going on, this can feel oppressive. It can seem as though our hopes and aspirations are moving farther away from us than we want them to be.

Today’s Gospel reading from Luke concerns an assessment of performance over time. Servants of the Lord were given assets—you can read the details in your bulletin, from Luke chapter 19. In the end, the lord returns to assess what they have done over time and finds that their performance was successful in some cases but lacking in others.

Essentially, those who tried to do something on behalf of their lord with what they were given received a positive appraisal. Those who did nothing with what they were given received a negative appraisal. In the end, this is how the Lord judges his people, and it is done in a relative sense. Those who try and accomplish more are appraised more favorably. Those who do nothing are judged most strictly and harshly for their lack of engagement or investment.

To the one who did nothing, the lord says, “It would have been better if you had put the money I gave you in the bank. At least then, although you had done nothing, it would have produced a return. You could have shown some difference when I came back. But you did not even do that. You were afraid of my judgment, and out of fear you hid it away and did nothing with it.”

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we can feel like that servant. We have fear, apprehension, or anxiety in our lives, and it seems as though we made no change or progress during this time. We imagine that if the Lord returned now, he would say, “I gave this to you. What did you do? You simply hid away the whole time.”

But I want to tell all of you who are here today, on December 29, that we must be mindful of what the lord said to the servant: “If only you had deposited what I gave you, then you would have seen growth, difference, and increase.” What you are doing by being here today is making that deposit.

In Armenian, the word for “deposit” is avant. It is also the root of the word for “tradition,” avantutyun. Spiritually speaking, when we make a deposit of our faith—when we allow our faith to exist within and become part of the holy tradition that is the Church—then, by the grace of the Holy Spirit, we see it grow. This happens sometimes even despite ourselves, our weaknesses, our shortcomings, and our sins.

By offering a sincere prayer to God, being found in his holy house of worship, and submitting yourself as a sinner in his presence, you have done exactly what he asked you to do. You have made a deposit, and you will see an increase.

This is what we do whenever we bend our knees in prayer, whenever we find ourselves in this sacred space, and whenever we offer this moment in time to witness the sacrifice of the Lamb of God during the Divine Liturgy. The deposit we make will ultimately come to fruition and be withdrawn in the days of judgment.

The final thing Christ says in today’s passage is that to those who have, even more will be given, but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. I always like to explain this phrase because it sounds cruel and unmerciful when we hear it. But we know that we have a merciful God. What does he mean?

His meaning is related to exactly what we have been discussing. If you have that deposit of faith, that kernel of faith, that mustard seed of faith, it will serve as an investment that grows over time. It will bear interest and will continue to give and give by the grace of the Holy Spirit in your life. You have something, and because you have it, you will receive more.

But if you do not have that deposit of faith—if you do not make that deposit—then whatever has already been given to you in this life, including the gift of these days and the gift of your very life, will be taken away from us if we do not have faith.

I give you this message today, near the eve of the new year, because I want you to know that by being here with me today, you are making that deposit. By the grace of the Holy Spirit, it will grow over time. In the end, we pray that the Lord will receive us into the heavenly harbor of his love. Amen.